Trust

God is so incredible. I don't know why I continue to be amazed by his wonderfullness, but it gets me every.single.time. I am someone who is majorly guilty in not having trust. In anyone, really, besides myself. I want to do it and do it right, and it can really get me into trouble. But where it most concerns me is with my trust in God. I have this plan in my head. Graduate college. Med School. MD. Doctors Without Borders. Make a difference. Sounds pretty ambitious, huh? But the thing is, is that it's MY plan. I'm very guilty of being stubborn and when I get my head set on something, it's my way or the highway, so to speak. And as I continue to think about my "plan" and get closer to actually having to actually carry out my plan (i.e. applying to med school, taking the MCAT, asking for letters of rec) I've realized I've left absolutely no room for anyone or anything else, including what God may have in store for me.

My mom has always been my best friend, and she's often told me that her greatest accomplishment was raising me (I swear I'm not making this up...). She was an absolutely incredible beyond belief mother. As are my sisters. And my aunts. And I have always seen myself having children and being an incredible mother as well. But as I look at the bigger picture, I've left no room. And it makes me question, would I really be happy living alone forever and traveling the world? Making a difference in so many peoples' lives, yes. But can I really do it all? I so often need to be reminded that it really isn't always up to me...He does have a bigger plan and He knows what I'm meant to do. SERIOUSLY, it is the hardest thing for me to do. If I can't let someone else do a freakin' group assignment for me, how am I supposed to let someone take control of my whole entire life plan? It stresses me out to even think about it.

Now...my point. This whole black hole of a thought came about as I was late-night studying (SURPRISE!) for one of my finals before the semester ended. I was obviously very overwhelmed and more than once (or twice. maybe even 5 times) the thought came upon me "I am going to fail this test. and this class. and never get into med school".....(you can see where it goes from here...chaos.) So, naturally, in the midst of my life crisis I got onto Twitter. Only to find the MOST INCREDIBLE tweet from Rick Warren (who, if you have a Twitter, I highly recommend you follow)

The link is to a song by Laura Story called Blessings. And it floored me. The whole song is perfect but this particular verse was what reached out to me:

"We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear.
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near.
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love,
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough.
All the while, You hear each desperate plea,
And long that we'd have faith to believe.

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?"


I mean, SERIOUSLY? No real explanation necessary. So, if you're having a bad day. Or doubting your (God's*) plan. Or just asking yourself what the heck...listen to this song, I hope it will make as much of a difference to you as it did to me! Because as long as you do have the faith to believe in His plan, He hears every thought and prayer and plea. How awesome?! And sometimes, you have to go through all the bad stuff to get to the real point. So just keep on keepin' on :)



Here's the link! Enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ


K