MY MOST RECENT EPIPHANY

I've had a sort of epiphany. As I'm lying on my bed in freshly washed sheets eating mint chocolate chip ice cream out of the container (NOM - sorry diet), thinking about the loooong shift at work I've just had, I've come to a realization. There are only two kinds of patients I ever really remember.


1. There are the traumatizing, unforgettable traumas and deaths. Usually we know these patients before they come in via the EMS radio. But no amount of mental or emotional preparation can truly prepare you for this situation. Now...I realize I've only been doing this job for two months now, and my coping mechanism thus far has been to switch my brain off until the end of my shift when I can run to my car and cry for 30 minutes in the parking lot. But, I just do not think I could ever get used to watching someone die at my hands. 


2. And then there are children. The sweet, precious, innocent (sometimes screaming bloody murder) children.  I've always had a weakness for children and animals. My heart goes out to them and I want to hold every single one. I think up until this point, I could tell you about nearly every child I have seen in the ER. 


I could tell you about the precious 3 year old girl running a 103 fever who grinned from ear to ear when I walked in the room and told me " Well, hi! I like your blue pants!" (as in my ratty surgical blue scrubs). 


I could tell you about the heart breaking 5 year old with mouth ulcers who refused to show the doctors and nurses her mouth because it hurt so badly it was bleeding. But when everyone but me left the room she tugged on my hand and stuck out her tiny bleeding tongue. 


I could tell you about the 5 week old baby girl who cried for 3 days straight and while the PA was palpating her tiny little belly her precious eyes got wide, she stopped crying and just stared straight into his eyes. And then she wrapped her tiny 5 week old baby hand around my pinky finger and I could have melted to the floor.  


I love the innocence that children absolutely radiate. Working in the ER, unfortunately there are adults who come in wanting pain meds or work excuses. With children, they are so adorable and pure and trusting. I never thought I would want to go into pediatrics with my sister being a pediatrician. I've always wanted to be a bad a** and snap broken bones back into place, or preform life-changing surgery. But, lately all I can think about is all the little children that I have seen and helped. SO. MANY. DECISIONS. So, naturally, I had to share my thoughts and ramblings with my thousands of closest friends on the internet....


K




p.s. Almost finished with Heaven is for Real! Possibly contributing to my child-love-obsession right now. Wonderful book!

The ABC's of Me!

Oh my goodness, my first blog! I realize I'm a little late to jump on the bandwagon, but I couldn't think of a better time. I just had a birthday, welcoming me into the wonderful world of the 20s, and I am about to begin a big year in terms of school and new adventures. I thought a perfect way to document this big year full of huge life changes and big decisions would be to start a blog :) So, here I am! 

On this same note, I couldn't think of a non-cliche 1st post...so I thought I'd just jump in headfirst. So here you have it A-Z!

A Abra Kadabra! Okay, not a true Harry Potter spell, BUT did you know that Avada Kedavra (the killing spell) was modeled after it? It means “to leave this world”. Moral of the story – Harry Potter <3

B Books. I am a self-proclaimed book nerd. I can think of few things better than snuggling in bed or lying in the sun with a fantastic book. And I do this a lot...I'll probably often use this bloggity as my own little book review!

Favorite book? Harry Potter. Without a doubt.

C Changes. As previously mentioned, this year is a big one in terms of decision making and change! I'm moving into a new apartment with 3 lovely girls, starting to study for the MCAT, continuing my new job in the Emergency Room & taking on a whole new load of science classes. This year is a big one for me in determining my future!

D Dancing. By this I don’t mean I can dance whatsoever. But I do mean that I enjoy it. In several forms. The main two being going dancing with my girlfriends (see F) and Swiffer dancing while cleaning my apartment.

E Elephants - my favorite animal in the world! How can you not be obsessed with such gentle giants? 

Fun Fact: They have the largest brain of any animal on the planet and have been associated with intelligent behaviors like grief, compassion, music and art! Riding an elephant is definitely on my bucket list!

F Fate. WARNING. This is about to get sappy. I'm not sure what I believe about fate or karma or one's true purpose in life...but what I do know is that fate dealt me the sweetest hand when I met my soulmates this year. Yes...plural. I've had some rocky roads up until this point in my life, dealing with friends and relationships, and it has not been easy for me to trust. But this year I met 6 of the most utterly wonderful, kind hearted women on this earth. Combined with my best friend from high school, we have become an inseparable group of 8. 

Meet: Tara, Amy, Me!, Haley, Sally, Jackie, Courtney & Katie!

In each of these girls, I can see a part of myself, and I know I am truly a better person for knowing them. In the short period of 6 months I've seen myself become happier then I've ever been and I have these ladies to thank for it. They are such a huge part of my life, I'm sure they will make many appearances in this blog!

G God. Such a huge part of my life. I have been incredibly blessed in so many ways, one of them being a strong, Christian mother who raised me to put my faith in God first. “Let go & let God”

H Happiness. Joy. Bliss. Mostly inspired by my friends and family. 

I Injury. I am THE most injury prone person on the planet! Basically apply Murphy's law to my life: What can go wrong, will go wrong. I've been injured and sick more than the normal human being. 

J Juxtapose. Yep.

K Kristin. Because I just realized I haven’t even introduced myself.

L Love. Sadly, I am quite the cynic when it comes to love due to my experiences and observations. BUT what I do know is that true love exists, just maybe not in the “Prince Charming/Cinderella” form. I’ve experienced the most unconditional, joyous, blissful love from the people around me.

Mainly from my mother. My true and honest best friend. Who would die if I put a picture of her on the internet! (You're welcome mom!)

M Medicine. As in the study of, not drugs. I’m a biology pre-med major studying to be an orthopedic surgeon! And anything and everything about the human body fascinates me.

N Nerd. Elaborating on M, I am a self-proclaimed nerd, and proud. I read, I study and I enjoy it. I love to learn and relish in the brains ability to soak up new information.

How are my friends so attractive?

O Opus. A great musical composition. (Word of the day app) I LOVE MUSIC. So many different genres, artists and songs. I listen to music during 90% of my day.

P PARTAAAY! Just kidding. Sort of. We like to have fun :)

Q Questions. I think that you should never stop asking questions! 

R Running. I’ll be the first to admit I’m not the best runner, but there is nothing better than the feeling after a long run. Another goal of mine this year is to do a half-marathon. Let’s see how this turns out. But on a serious note, any form of exercise is the best pastime! Endorphins really do make you happy!

S Selachophobia – n – the irrational fear or dislike of sharks. Needless to say I am not partaking in the obsession of Shark Week.

T “To thine own self be true” Hamlet I:iii:78

U Unconventional. Sometimes I feel like I see and do things in a completely different way than everyone else. But hey, that’s what makes the world go ‘round, right?

V Voracious. As in voracious eater. As in I eat. ALL. THE. TIME.

W Weddings. Although marriage is NOWHERE near my radar, one of my very best friends is getting married in June 2012. I’m lucky enough to be a bridesmaid, and wedding/bachelorette plans have already begun! Marriage on the brain – such a scary thought!

XYZ Nothing exciting begins with these letters anyway….

Well the ABC’s seemed like a good idea at the time…this obviously turned out to be a novel. If you read it all, I’m impressed and thankful! All for now J

K